On to the the biggest challenge of my life..................so after Tahoe, I wasn't feeling good( actually it was a ALOT longer than that, but im a man...unless im dying, I dont notice it) there was something wrong, but I didnt want to admit it...needless to say i was lackadaisical...listless, but I wanted a dog...so I decided to purchase my favorite kind, whether or not its a "females kind of dog" I didnt care....a Yorkshire terrier...so I look in the paper and find a nice breeder that said they had some puppies for $1000 american duckets, I decide its time, I give the guy a call, and im on my way there...this house was in the middle of FUCKING nowhere...I spent an hour just to find it, in Loomis Ca...i get there, and theres like 6 of them, well of course he lets them all out and one comes right up to me, crazy as me..i decide thats him, thats the one I want....well of course dipshit breeder was like "oh well that one is 1500 american duckets(hes a miniature ) "...so, im like what the fuck ever and give him the extra 500.......and on my way to my parents I went...with my new dog/son.....JFK....i just felt a sort of proudness on that drive from Middle of fucking Nowhere Loomis to Folsom...I finally had something to call my own...i couldnt wait to get him to the parents...it was truly gratifying....well, after him sleeping on my chest at 121 Burnham that night...we had a cool couple of weeks, even though he wasnt trained...(we'll get back to Jack/JFK)........Tangent.........JFK is a truly an inspiration for me (not the dog-the president) anyone who can run a country like he did (cuban missle crisis stands out-staring nuclear war eye to eye with the russians and not blinking) he simply didnt have enough time, his family pissed off too many people(dont fuck with the mafia!!!! thanks Papa Joe) can you imagine what he would have done with 4 more years???? the possibilites are endless.plus anyone who can run the most formidable country in the world and and be banging Marilyn Monroe at Frank Sinatras retreat in Palm Springs on a random weekend will always be held in a high regard in my humble opinion..........tangent ended......so, I have this new thing for a couple of weeks, and I was getting worse....I was sick, peeing more than a camel in the middle of the sahara, drinking more OJ and water than ever, so I decided to pack Jack up and head back to moms for some nurturing(why is it you always go back to moms when your sick????) well, the 1st couple of days I was there.....I wasnt good..i was still sick, couldnt swallow....still peeing every hour...Havent a good night of sleep since tahoe......not breathing right...I almost went in that night, MYSELF....but said naaaa I have to go to work tomorrow, well, that morning my mom said to me "lets go....your going"...even after some back and forth, I finally agreed( I knew there was something wrong).....(ive never told anyone this but I seriously will never be able to pay my mom back for this one act....she knew there was something wrong with her stubborn oldest son and took matters intr her own hands) so, I get to the emergency room,a nd they take me right in, and take my blood sugar....the nurse(cute-i was flirting) says "well your in trouble, i can only read blood sugar here up to 500...yours is past that....have you ever had an EKG????"....ok, now im by no means knowledgable in doctor speak or medical terminology if you will, but i do know what an EKG is......I think after she told me that I actually had a heart attack...so I go " are u fucking serious????" she laughs and I say " pardon my latin" ( i hate when people say "pardon my french"...its so fucking gay plus i hate those french faggots and me being Josh(unique) I just cant say the norm!!!!) so I get the EKG and they take me into a room and I lay down, well, there are a million thoughts going around in this compact little head of mine, and finally get some news....I have diabetes...and my blood sugar is actually 614....to put this in prespective....150 is considered high...i was 614!!!!!! he proceeds to tell me that i am very lucky I came in because i was hours from either diabetic coma...a stroke.....or a heart attack(thanks mom) and also informs me im gonna have to stay...in ICU this absolutely scares the piss out of me....ICU another medical term, im not well versed in but I know what it means............it means im FUCKED!!!!!!! All I keep thinking about is work and March madness...I might not be able to go to March madness..no fucking way....!!!! so, after getting in my bed and them sticking me what seemed like a million times I have alot of reflection,,,what the fuck am I doing with my life....???? I was a vibrant young little fellow who was always skinny...and "I just let myself go"...no more taco bell.no more OJ. no more GOLDSCHLAGER..no more icees at 7-11. no more candy canes....IM fucked!!!!!! I have never been dealt with this sort of hand, I usually get something modest like a King-10 offsuit not a fucking 7-2 offsuit.....i need to work with this, I have a little dog to think about....I was in for a week-(yea its like prison) and im never gonna come back!!! I decide......so far so good....ive lost 60...im more vibrant...i can do this....well, next comes the second hardest chapter of this year........to be continued
For a minute there
I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there
I lost myself, I lost myself
"Karma Police"- Radiohead-"Ok Computer"
so, I'll lead off by saying this is one of my top 5 favorite songs of all time...Theres just something about this song...its truly an excellent song...If you havent heard it you should...it reminds me of Tom Cunningham...in Nashville...at a local pub, discussing how great of an album Ok Computer is and realizing how much of an impact its had on people that like good music...Also reminds me of a little bit of driving to Santa Cruz, for the last like 3 times(ive went alone) i put this album on and let it play...between "Karma Police" and "Let Down" its truly a spectacualr sound....The quote well, you can more than likely put together the match between the post I just made and the quote....
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